Dancing Steam

The steam from the hot coffee I'm holding in my hands twirls and dances with the air.

I am sitting in my favorite spot to talk to Jesus. Curled up on the couch, beside the window, with my feet tucked beneath me.

I lift my face to the morning sun, close my eyes, and let the warmth wash over me.

I lift my heart to the Son and savor His love.

I sit quietly, my unopened Bible beside me.

Quiet.

I used to attack Him with my chatter as I told Him my needs

and wants

and requests

and petitions

and pleas

and begging

and demands

and... well, you get the picture. My words tumbling out as fast as I could get them out, stumbling over themselves like a busy 2 year old.

Not anymore.

I am discovering the value of being quiet before my Maker.

Just quiet.

Letting Him talk to me, first.

"What do you want to tell me this morning, Jesus?", my heart whispers.

I love you, child. I smile. I loved being loved by Him. And I love that often, this is His first response to me.

Be diligent today. How did He know that this morning I was flirting with the idea of being lazy today? It feels like it could be my first day "off" in over a month? Oh, this Father of mine knows me so well!

Be kind to your husband and honor Him. Thanks for the reminder... So basic, but so important.

He speaks other words of encouragement and admonition to me. Gratefulness that His Spirit lives in me fills my heart. The Master of the Universe speaks to - me.

His words fade away... and I ponder them.

I pick up my Bible and caress it's worn and underlined pages gently. What a treasure this book is to me. What a privelege to hide it in my heart. I never want to take it for granted.

"What do you want to say to me through Your Word today? Where do You want me to read? Give me understanding... help me read with spirit eyes."

He never disappoints.

He tells me:

-That I have the mind of Christ. (I Cor. 2:16)

-That my faith should not trust in human wisdom, but in the power of God. (I Cor. 2:5)

-That everything I do, even eating and drinking, it should all bring glory to God. (I Cor. 10:31)

But the real kicker? The thing that stopped me in my tracks and made me say "whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?"

Was when Paul said this in I Cor. 11:1

Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.

I wonder if I could say this as confidently as Paul? It makes me nervous when people tell me they look up to me. Yipers - it makes me want to tuck my tail between my legs and ruuuuuuuuuuun!

But this morning, this thought GRABS me.

Maybe because I've been sensing God calling me to disciple and mentor the youth ladies with more intention than before. The one-on-one kind of stuff that can make me knees shake, because I don't want them looking at me for answers because God knows - I have soooo not arrived.... Why would I have anything to give them...?

I'm not so sure I can even confidently say to my own children, "imitate me, because I imitate Christ"?

They get to see the "real" me.

-The cranky me that comes out under stress.

-The not-so-diligent me that can easily forgo housework to play a video game with them.

-The undisciplined me that leaves her shoes all over the house and even (gasp) dirty clothes on the bedroom floor. [please tell me there are other women who do that!]

-The yelling me that comes out after I have told them to do something "a hundred million times".

-The negative me that says "someone" ALWAYS does "this".

-The fearing and worrying me.

-The me that wants to say "do as I say and not as I do". But really, who are we kidding, kids of course - do as we do.

aaaaaargh.

Imitate me?

It is only with His strength and His power that I can say that.

Jesus help me.

The steam has stopped dancing...

My face and body are toasty from the sun...

My coffee is now cold.

Praise and thanksgiving spills out of my heart and I give myself all over again to The One who has made me. And loves me.

He. loves. me.

Me.

And just like the steam from the coffee cup... my heart twirls and dances with its Maker.