God's Fantastic Idea

This is a post I've started writing many times in my head, and then - promptly hit the delete button (which was also in my head).

The subject? My recent weight loss.

I recognized the topic of excessive weight can be a very sensitive subject. I also didn’t want to appear that I have "learned it all", because that is most definitely NOT the case!

I was having a heart-to-heart poolside chat with one of my nieces a couple of weeks ago. (Brittney Martin, who happens to be a great writer herself.) In the course of the conversation, I shared my heart about God's supernatural help with my weightloss . And so, because of her gentle encouragement to write it out, and not be afraid of people’s opinions, I take in a shaky breath, because she has compelled me to make my thoughts - reality.

And so, I will write. Out of a heart that is overflowing with gratefulness to Jesus.

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My family loves food.

- and -

My family struggles with weight.

That is the bare, naked truth. And there's nothing pretty about it.

Brent has often told me that it’s not natural how much we love food. We ‘ooooo’ and ‘ahhhhhh’ and ‘mmmmmm’ over food. All of us, my brothers included, enjoy cooking and eating.

I have not always struggled with weight. But like most other women, once I was out of my teens years I gained some weight. And then, when I started having children, the pounds crept on. I didn’t like it, and tried several times to lose weight. Each time I had minimal success.

I have learned to enjoy running these past 3 years. As a result, I have lost lots of inches, and some weight. But I was still overweight in spite of it! And I didn’t like it.

My downfall (mostly) was late night eating. The habit began after we had kids. It was the only time in the day that I could feed my mouth first! There was something about a quiet house, and the kids in bed, that made eating so much more enjoyable.

Some of my favorites snacks were:

a HUGE bowl of sugary cereal like Lucky Charms or Cap'n Crunch
kettle cooked jalapeno chips
Doritoes with melted cheddar cheese on top
plain Triscuits with tons of cream cheese
pepper jack cheese
candy... like Starbursts or Skittles
I couldn't figure out why I couldn't lose weight, when I was running so much. Now I understand, that food listed above is l.o.a.d.e.d. with calories.

This spring when we were training to run the half marathon, I could tell that my body slimmed down a little bit. I was afraid that would go away since we weren't training for that anymore. Plus, I was still frustrated that in spite of doing all that running, I was still overweight!

I started talking to the Lord about it, and asking Him what I should do. You know, He created me, and so I figured He knew what would work for me.

One Monday morning, I was praying about this again, and very clearly I heard: "You will lose weight if you watch your calories". There was emphasis on the word "will".

In case you’re wondering, I didn't hear an audible voice, or anything like that. I have learned that God sometimes speaks to me in my thoughts. I can't explain what happened, but immediately something inside of me had a light bulb moment. I simply knew that I had heard from God.

My first thought was, "Oh, I've tried that before". (I had tried counting calories a couple of years ago. It was a smashing success – for one day.) But then I caught myself and realized I needed to pay attention.

So I asked Him how I should count my calories.

Immediately I sensed Him tell me to look online for a calorie counter.

Hope literally started bubbling up inside of me. I was having a delightful God moment.

So, I googled 'free calorie counter'. I didn't even know for sure if there was anything like that. I clicked on the first thing I laid my eyes on and somehow, I just knew this was what I was supposed to do.

This was the site I found. http://www.everydayhealth.com

There is no “easy” way to lose weight. The truth is – if you take in less, you will weigh less. It literally boils down to that.

I started this on May 17th, and by July 19 - I had lost 15 pounds! I give ALL the credit to my Jesus! I have felt His presence every single meal. No lie. I have been able to discipline myself in ways I ne-ver have before. My flesh would scream sometimes! But - every time I step on the scale and see that I've lost another pound... "Thank you, Jesus" just bubbles out of me.

I had come to the point where I was simply ready. I was done with “my” ideas and how I thought I should do things. He was able to swoop in and help me because I finally knew it would take Him - and not me to lose weight.

I have drastically changed what and how I eat. When I started keeping track of my calories I was horrified and sickened at the amount of calories I had been putting into me. I had no idea! No wonder I was overweight. I cringe to think how much weight I would have gained if I hadn’t been running these past three years. Because I was eating so – many – empty - calories.

A couple of weeks after I started watching my calories I came across this book at the library. “French Women Don't Get Fat” It honestly felt like another God moment to me as I read through the book.

It's definitely a must-read. She talks about eating sloooooooooowlyyyyyyyyyyy. That resonated with me, because I figured if I can't eat as big of a portion, I'm gonna chew the portion I can eat as loooooong as possible. I chew my food to m.u.s.h! I try to put my fork down between bites and try not to fill my fork until I’m done chewing and ready to take another bite. (That was hard, at first!) She talks about drinking lots of water. If you live in America, that is not a new concept. But this time, I acted on it. I always have a big glass of water sitting out now and when I walk past the glass, it reminds me to take a drink. She said often people think they're hungry, and really - we're just thirsty. She also says the French eat anything they want, but they understand a very simple concept. The first few bites always taste the best. I've found that to be very true. I used to just keep eating because it was on my plate.

I have learned how it feels to be satisfied, instead of full/stuffed. I’ve discovered I like the satisfied feeling much better. I didn’t realize how messed up my digestion was. I used to get major stomachaches after I ate. NO MORE!!!! Thank you Jesus!

I’ve also had to be okay with throwing away food. We were at Red Robin for the first time last week. We had no idea how huge the sandwiches were! I ate half of my sandwich and was ready to dive into the next half when I had another God moment. I realized I was satisfied. I looked at the sandwich, and thought about how much that sandwich cost. I processed the fact that if I do or don’t eat it, it’s wasted either way. I realized I was not okay with misusing my body by overeating, just because I didn’t want to “waste” it. And so – I covered it with my napkin and pushed it off to the side.

Food addiction is no different than alcohol or other substance abuse problems. And just like other substance abuse addictions, food addiction does not just affect that person. It affects everyone around them. Maybe the result is diabetes, maybe it’s early death because my heart just finally gives out, maybe it's back pain – because my body was not created to have that much stress on my bones, or maybe even not being able to interact with my kids in a playful manner.

I bought myself an electronic food scale. That and my measuring cups are my best friends right now. Is it a pain sometimes? Yes! Is it hard sometimes? Yes! Does it get old? Yes! When my husband is pulling out my favorite chips do I want to eat them? YES!!!!

But the reason I can do this is 1) Jesus and 2) I realize it’s only temporary. I won’t be eating this small amount of calories forever. It’s just for a season. Then I can be at the “maintaining” stage. Which is going to feel like a feast compared to the amount I'm eating now!

I’m not a tee-totaler. I pretty much eat whatever I want. But I look at my allowed amount of calories as spending money. For example, I can “spend” my calories by eating a handful of chips and still feel hungry or I could "spend" the same amount of calories and eats LOTS of fresh fruit and veggies. Do I want to drink my calories with a can of pop or do I want to eat my calories and feel full? I even allow myself to have junk food. I just measure out a couple of chips and saaaaaavor them! I've come to realize that my portions had been waaaaaaay out of whack.

One thing that’s been interesting is people’s reactions. Some are so very positive and encouraging, others… not so much. I told Brent the other night that there are only a couple of people that I can exclaim all I want to about my weight loss and know that they are literally as excited for me as I am for me! I don’t feel like I’m bragging when I talk about my weight loss to them. I'm so thankful Brent is one of those people. He's been one of my biggest cheerleaders! What a gift they have given me, and what a lesson it has taught me.

I want to be that excited for others accomplishments!

This past week I hit a huge milestone. I weigh less than I have in the past 9 years.

And it's all because of Him.

I Choose...

to be thankful for all the care God gives to us.

Even though, in the past three months we have had several major appliances that we've had to either repair or get new.

And now, last week our stove gave out. It would turn on without warning, remain at high heat, and the only way to turn it off is to unplug it. The smoke alarm would even go off because it got so hot. The repair would've cost almost as much as a new one, so we opted to pay $100 more and get another stove.

On Saturday, we decided to clean out our grill and realized the burner and the heating tents were quite literally falling apart. So, we will be using our gas grill as a charcoal grill, until the end of the season clearance specials.

And now, today, our dryer gave up the ghost.

SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!

What is the deal?

Is this what happens after you've been married 14 years?

Everything you own falls apart?

God was really dealing with my heart since the weekend. He was telling me that I need to not focus on the problem, but focus on how He cared for us during the problem.

For instance:

THANK GOD that the oven only randomly turned on while we were home. (Now we unplug it when we leave. New stove comes tomorrow!) We could've burned our house down.

THANK GOD that the grill lasted as long as it did!

THANK GOD that the dryer didn't burn up. I went downstairs to get the laundry that I put in the dryer this morning. I opened the door and found wet clothes. (???) I started the dryer again and realized it wasn't turning. When I opened it up, it smelled H.O.T.!!!!

Immediately, I started thanking God for all the things I could think of that He has done for us. Jaci said, "Mom, what are you doing?!". She's used to hearing me talking out loud to God, but she must've picked up on something. Desperation, maybe?

So - who knows what's going on, but I am choosing to thank God that our family will not lose heart because we will see/are seeing His goodness in the land of the living (Ps. 27:13), and that He daily loads us with benefits (Ps. 68:19)!

Call me crazy.

Call me weird.

Call me silly.

But I choose to be,

thankful.