Only.
Such a deceptively simple word.
(dictionary definitions of) ONLY: alone, soley, exclusively, just
So, only really means - - only.
As in: She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her. (Proverbs 31:12 - Amplified) only good, for. the. rest. of. my. life!
gulp.
Every time I read God's Word I ask Him for wisdom, revelation and understandng. This simple prayer was on my lips again 3 weeks ago before I read Proverbs 31. It's always interesting to me to see what God shows me. Sometimes He has me marinating on a whole verse, and sometimes it's one word, or two.
Like, only good.
Honestly, this sucker-punched me in my gut.
Instantly, I thought about all the ways I choose not to do only good to Brent. And totally justify it. But these words cover everything. I can't hide. So the past 3 weeks, every single time I am tempted to do some of the things I normally do, I literally hear the Lord whisper to my mind,
Only good.
But it really feels this loud.
ONLY GOOD.
Because I started realizing, only good doesn't mean:
-Just leaving supper out for him on the counter for when he gets home late from work. (Because after all, he is an adult and he can warm up his own food.) To me only good means, filling his plate, warming it up, and bringing it to him, along with a glass of water.
-Just somehow being able to not be mad at him when he comes home late from work, because of circumstances out of his control. To me, only good means, giving him the gift of a warm smile and graciousness, and being able to look at him with peace in my eyes.
-Just not yelling and having arguments. To me, only good means, not even having to prove my point.
-Just giving in to his loving touch "because it's my wifely duty", (but in my heart staying a little detached, because I just want to go to sleep). To me, only good means, actually getting into it - with all of my heart.
-My needs come first. To me, only good means, his needs come first. Even when that means keeping our bathroom and kitchen counters uncluttered, because he likes things put away. (For a messy, that's HARD! Talk about dying to self here. )
The list could go on and on. I guess what I started realizing was only good reveals my heart attitude. I can fake being a good wife, even to Brent. I can't fake having a heart that does only good to my husband.
We have a good marriage, we really do. And I'm so very grateful. At the beginning of the year I started meeting with a marriage mentor. God spoke through her so powerfully, and it literally changed our marriage. I didn't know marriage could be so good! I think it's interesting that this is the year I've been on a quest to learn how to love my husband well. And I really thought I was finally getting it! And then 3 weeks ago, God has the nerve to show me I have soooo much more to learn.
only. good.
